I have spent much of 2016 repeating, writing and even whispering the words “it is well.” Mostly to myself but also to friends, family and on occasion, even to strangers.
Has ‘it’ all been well?
Did I survive?
Admittedly, the past couple of weeks have been spent in and out of a grey cloud, badly managing my feelings of failure and underachievement. But truth is, I’m not failing and to think that I am underachieving means that I am comparing myself (albeit subconsciously) to people who have different circumstances, experiences and more importantly, work ethics than I do.
Talk about an exercise in futility.
hard on myself pretty driven at the best of times but I think that technological advancement and therefore increased access to information sharing the ins and outs of the lives of others makes us feel like we’re doing it wrong. But we’re not.
Just because I don’t frequently take professional quality images worthy of posting on social media to show loved ones and strangers how happy, well-traveled or adventurous I am does not mean that I am not enjoying my life or not getting things done. On the contrary, I’m appreciating the moments and continuing to work. Or at the very least trying to.
I take lots of pictures – many of which don’t actually have me in them. I just choose not to share them all.
Earlier in the year I was lamenting on the fact that I don’t have oodles of social media worthy images from my various travels over the past 15 years for me to Instagram. Because my inability to share the aforementioned trips with masses somehow diminishes the experience? Imagine!
I was a little disappointed with myself that the thought crossed my mind but it was [thankfully] considered temporarily. I personally love looking at images of the lives of others and find it inspiring. It gives me something to strive for. But this year particularly, I have had to frequently retell myself that it definitely is well and will continue to be.
2016 has reminded me that I know amazing, inspiring and very supportive people. People that I feel blessed that I get to do life with. Having my strength tested this year; mentally and emotionally (not so much physically) has highlighted my ability to endure and move forwards, even when it felt like I neither knew how, nor wanted to take another step.
I’ve experienced things I didn’t see coming such as being flown to Switzerland to perform poetry and going on tour with two American poets I have loved for years and have so much respect for. I travelled, got a new car, celebrated my birthday just how I wanted with so many of the people I wanted around and felt the sort of love that leaves you speechless.
While it has personally and globally been a tough year, it is one that has been interspersed with a lot of opportunity and beauty. Focusing on the positives and celebrating the wins – no matter how small or supposedly insignificant has a great effect and I really hope that you’re able to hold on to the positives as opposed to the negatives.
Wellness is subjective. And although life may not be ‘well’ in terms of what I personally wanted, expected and at times worked for this year, it is one big, unfinished, exciting escapade that I look forward to completing in time.
Wishing you the happiest of New Years.