The Art of Forgiveness

When you are lost in the eye of the storm,
weeping
and the shore is more heartache away,
creeping
He is the mouth whispering fairy tales,
sleeping
to soothe seas and grant safe passage home.
©Assumpta Ozua 2015

It was one of my best friends birthdays 2 days ago. I forgot…

By some strange, fortuitous miracle, he had been on my mind all day (it was probably my subconscious trying to save me) so at around 6pm, I called him. Normally I would have sung to him (or any of my closest friends on their birthday) as soon as he answered the phone. In this case, I spoke to him in the same way I usually would – with reckless abandon and lots of humour.

One anecdote and a reminder of the date later, my friendship-faux-pas dawned on me and I felt like such a disappointment. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten. He handled the situation with so much grace and said it was fine and at least I had spoken to him on his birthday despite it not being intentional. I sang a birthday song and then left him to go to the gym.

As I sat on the train and thought about what had just happened, I felt worse and worse as the minutes passed. I sent him a message and he replied saying it really was alright and he understood because I have had a lot going on lately. Imagine that, he made excuses for me?

His unquestionable forgiveness and understanding made me really introspective because I know I probably would not have reacted in quite the same way. Who am I kidding, I probably would have been offended. It reminded me of something my mother taught me:

always look at peoples intention in every situation – especially when they hurt you. If you believe that it was not their intention to do then, then let it go. If you feel it was purposely malicious then still let it go but in future you know what to expect [or not expect] and where to draw the line.

In a world filled with big talkers and few doers, I am very grateful for friends who constantly challenge, motivate and develop me simply by living their lives as authentically as possible. Plus they have the craziest sense of humour and who doesn’t love to laugh?

Happy Birthday J!