This is post 12 of 13. If you have been following over the last week and a half then you will know I have been blogging daily as a little challenge that I set for myself before my birthday. This is not the topic I had in mind to post today but in keeping with my endeavour to be more honest and authentic, I’m going to share how I’m really feeling.
I had a pretty shocking day today – not in a good way. At various points I have wanted to cry and when I got into my car I eventually did. I’m not a huge fan of crying. Luckily one of my best friends (North Star for the purpose of this post) was on the other end of the phone to console me and to give me perspective.
Everybody needs a North Star.
It’s my birthday tomorrow (and no that wasn’t why I was crying – I have been fairly excited about this new chapter for a long time). Today I have seemingly waltzed from one frustrating situation to another and felt taken for granted at times. It all got very overwhelming.
I put the priorities and feelings of others before my own, despite having a lot to do – none of which got done by the way. All I wanted to do today was tie up some lose ends and then rest so I would wake refreshed and happy. The lose ends are far from tied and by the time I get to bed, I’m not sure how fresh faced I’ll look or feel but I’m hoping that I’ll at least be happy.
I know I’ll feel grateful for another year, blessed, excited, anxious and a whole host of other emotions but whether or not I’ll be happy remains to be seen (more on my thoughts about that in a forthcoming post). I definitely feel as though I’ll be more peaceful in the morning.
Even as I’m writing this, I feel much happier. A mixture of catharsis and exercising the art of letting go. I can rest safe in the knowledge that I tried my best. Granted, things didn’t go to plan but so is the nature of life. Tomorrow is another day.
My parents taught me to do my best and leave the rest [to God]. It’s not always easy but during the times I do achieve it, it brings me so much peace and that to me, is priceless.