Somewhere between wake and sleep
sleep and wake
I led impatient ink to a patient page
and penned this insomniacs poem.
Whilst my house sat still on its ageing plot
and all within slept silently
blissfully unaware of my night terrors,
I stared boldly into the quasi darkness of my room
choked by unnecessary worldly baggage.
The little light creeping in under my not-quite-fully-closed blinds
produced a mural of light and shadows on my wall.
You see I never completely close the blinds in the summer
because I love to see the sun and don’t want the eyelids for my windows to
blind my sight when it rises in the morning ushering in the new day.
I stared at the ceiling trying to recall each photograph and
Its frames positioning on my loved one’s tribute table opposite my bed.
I felt myself transitioning between my waking world and the land of Nod.
And yet I was unable to stay.
A frequent flyer I might once have been
but each time I near Nod now, my visa is revoked and I am deported back to my home State of Wake.
So I lay in Wake
hoping for lethargy to manifest and kiss my weary sleep deprived eyes and
be my Charon the ferry-man across the sea of insomniacs souls.
Ferry me to the other side,
and perchance I might dream of happy things,
unless my night terrors have their way at this midnight hour
and keep much needed sleep at bay at this midnight hour
while on my bed I patiently lay at this midnight hour.
to come home.
©Assumpta Ozua 2007
My mind is most active at night – it is when I am the most creative but equally when I do the most thinking and worrying. I don’t worry as much as I used to. It’s such a counterproductive endeavor and unless a resolution and solution are reached at the end of the thinking/worrying, it can be an exhausting and futile emotion to indulge.
If I said I had completely stopped over-thinking and worrying, I would be lying to you and I’m really not about painting a perfect picture of my life for you – that’s not real. I tend to just take things one moment and one day at a time. Plus it helps that I have some amazing friends who put things in perspective and help me to create plans when needed.
If you don’t have at least one North Star (as I like to refer to my closest friends and family), then I highly recommend some introspection because in my experience I have found that the adage is true; to have great friends, first you must become one.