“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.”
– Warsan Shire
I recently posted two pictures on Instagram – one yesterday and one today. They’ve been getting a lot of love (a lot by my standards. I’m not Instafamous so it’s nothing crazy). Why is that important? Well, it’s not at all – aside from making me feel a little more attractive.
There was a time when popularity on social media baffled
and eluded me. It never ceased to amaze me how some people could have tens or hundreds of thousands of followers while many of the beautiful, interesting and funny people I knew languished in the hundreds.
The fascination with other people’s lives, faces, bodies and experiences intrigues me, still to this day. I’ll be the first to admit that I occasionally enjoy
prying indulging in other people’s version of their reality.
However, I frequently remind myself that it is just a snippet… a highlight reel if you will and does not show you the full story – my social media presence is a prime example. Save for regularly posting on my blog [now], I haven’t quite gotten the hang of constantly sharing my life.
I pick and choose ranging from the highs to selective lows – as long as a lesson can be shared from it. Hats off to those who manage full disclosure (we all know it’s never really full hence the italics – even reality TV is scripted nowadays). I find it tiring a lot of the time.
I love the Warsan quote above because it perfectly summarises how I feel at present. How I dress in my pictures is pretty much how I am all the time simply because I have a love for my own personal style and it makes me feel good. It’s not for anyone else. If other people happen to enjoy it then great and if they don’t, that’s their business.
My existence and my happiness are not based on how desirable other people find me.
I know it’s easier said than done given the visual, consumerist society we live in but it’s not impossible. Lord knows I’d probably be richer, quicker if I leveraged my superficial assests but it is what it is.
This is a little reminder that it’s not your responsibility to be beautiful [or handsome] – not unless you want to be. If you live by other people’s opinions, you’ll die by them too.