If You Let Me

In the stillness of the night.
In that moment when lonely orphans star-gaze and dream of what
could have been, would have been, should have been memories
formed yesterday, today or tomorrow
of parents and loved ones silent smiles,
warm embraces and quiet whispers of
“I love you”, chasing the monsters away.
In the moments where badly beaten babes
pray for steel coated skin
while tears streak and sting the
open wounds of self-loathing and self-pity
raising rhetorical questions like
“why can’t I just do better? Look better, feel better?”
In the moments where the inevitability
of meeting your maker looms
and pacts are made with the chameleon in
a God-like guise promising you another day, week, or month
if only he could have your soul for the rest of eternity.
In the moments where the darkness
threatens to choke the light within
because the flame of your passion
doesn’t burn bright enough, nor feel strong enough
to withstand the constant attacks
by the storms in other peoples’ lives
torrential, unrelenting and relishing
the thought of being the one to end you,
I will love enough hope into your spine
to keep you upright and standing as tall
as derelict tower blocks until you’re
able to fill your cavities with life,
Love enough confidence into your spirit
to ensure that you glow like an overgrown
firefly – even in the blackest of nights,
I will be there like a Siamese twin to
hear, see, feel and cushion every blow
as though they were my own because
travelling the road of life with you
not as one half of a whole but two wholes
willing to share and give more than half
makes complete sense in a world often devoid of it.
Therefore, in the stillness of this night
in these moments where I have enough
love, light and laughter for
my future family past one generation,
I can comfortably and willingly say
that the drums in my ears will beat
as they listen, without qualm,
to every syllable – spoken and unspoken
while my eyes, seeing you for who
you really are yet loving all of you anyway,
take note of every facial expression – intentional or not,
my hands, not quite large enough
to bear the weight of the world
will hold you as long as necessary
until the sun finishes hiding, the moon stops seeking
and the stars stop peaking,
long after the stillness is replaced by cathartic chaos
I will love you if you let me –
and even if you don’t.
©Assumpta Ozua 2012