The Problem With Comparisons

The past three and a half years of my life have been inundated with comparisons. Whether it’s others making them, or those made by myself, I have found said happiness-hiding thoughts to be debilitating at times and woefully counterproductive.

When I started my Mary Kay business almost four years ago, the comparisons came in quick succession. If I wasn’t being compared to my Mum (who happens to be the #1 National Sales Director in Mary Kay UK), then I was compared to other Mary Kay consultants / Directors around my age. (I am aware that many will say that I should have expected it as I went into the same field as one of my parents but that doesn’t make it any less tedious.)

Prior to that (and still to this day actually) I was compared to people who studied Law (like I did) and were now flying high, or people who had studied the same masters as me and being subjected to tales of their undertakings. I get it, making comparisons between individuals is a subconscious, commonplace occurrence but every now and then, there’s only so much nodding, smiling and letting go one can do before you feel like screaming!

It’s taken a little while to tune out the noise and if I’m honest, I’m still working daily at perfecting this skill but here are the conclusions I have drawn that I hope others may benefit from:

• I am not my mother, my father, my brother nor anyone else. I’m me and that is perfectly acceptable.
• I’m good at what I do – I just do things in MY own quirky little way.
• “Comparison is the death of joy” – Mark Twain
• I would rather be the best version of myself than a substandard, contrived version of someone else.
• I’m proud of my achievements thus far and every day that I wake up is another chance to try again.

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contrast

You are
faultiness incarnate
chalk outline to
lifeless dreams.
 
But oh how you
enliven,
when fear
unpicks its seams.
©Assumpta Ozua 2015